Issue link: http://read.dmtmag.com/i/124935
live with family CampHERO Sandwiched In Juggling care for aging parents and growing kids—let alone yourself— can be a midlife stumbling block. Sound familiar? Here are a few facts and tips to help you find breathing room in the big squeeze 47 Invest in Family Bonds Swamped with caring for your parents? Tish Lafferty, an RN, certified life coach and women's health education coordinator at Meriter Hospital, offers easy ways to stay connected with your kids. Set aside QT: Let your child pick the activity and then just show up. Percent of Americans ages 40-59 caring for both children and elderly parents. Create a bedtime routine: Read together, be goofy or reconnect in your favorite way. " " Pack a positive note with their lunch: Encourage them, tell them a joke or just remind them that they're in your thoughts. Invite your kids to help: Give them a special job to help care for their grandparents. It will help them bond, and make your kids feel part of—not lost in—the swirl of daily activities. Pew research study, Jan. 30, 2013 Remember that [caretaking] is a mutually uncomfortable situation. It is as humbling to accept assistance from a child as it is to care for a parent. Carla Durnst, RN and administrator at All Saints Assisted Living Navigate the Role Reversal It's easy to feel lost and overwhelmed when you're suddenly the caregiver of your parents. Stay the course with these simple steps from Carla Durnst, RN and administrator at All Saints Assisted Living. Get ready to discuss new topics with your folks. Even the sensitive ones. Familiarize yourself with their medical conditions to help you be their advocate. Know their preferences before there's a crisis. Legal experts recommend making an advance directive. Use local resources. Dane County Senior Caregiver's Resource Guide has a bounty of info. Visit madisoncaregivers.com. 24 BRAVA Magazine May 2013 Don't forget! Share the commitment with other members of the family or friends who can help. Ask Doctor Mom Raising mindfulness masters By Dr. Laura Houser Management of children's anxiety and anger is one of the most common behavior concerns I encounter in pediatrics. Like adults, children have trouble managing emotions, and it pains parents to see their kids struggle with life's hardships. I used to talk about expressing feelings outright. I suggested punching pillows or letting out a primal scream. But recently, I wondered if this advice might teach kids to avoid their stressors rather than face them. Doesn't this mindset lead adults to hit or drink their troubles away? Instead, I've started incorporating mindfulness theory into my practice. Mindfulness is, basically, "paying attention on the inside and out." It embraces the present moment and avoids perseverating on the past or anticipating the future, and it cultivates awareness of the influence that thoughts and emotions have on our reactions. Researchers from the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin have developed a mindfulness curriculum for school-age children and are offering the curriculum in some Madison public schools. Lessons include exercises such as belly breathing, settling the mind, and noticing and naming emotions. Students and teachers have already noticed improvements in reactivity to classroom conflicts. We have long known about the mind-body connection—kids get stomachaches or headaches when they are upset and physical disease can lead to anxiety and depression. Mindfulness helps us recognize the power that thoughts and feelings have over us if we let them. By noticing this, we can temper our responses rather than letting our emotions control us. It's a practice that can benefit our children— and us—in all of our responses and relationships. Dr. Houser is a pediatrician with UW Health and mother of one.