Brava

July 2013

Issue link: http://read.dmtmag.com/i/141342

Contents of this Issue

Navigation

Page 42 of 83

"I came to the U.S. to train as a doctor and moved to Madison for a fresh start." Farhat Malik Hometown: Lahore, Pakistan Age: 54 Occupation: Physician, UW Health Urgent Care I grew up in a college town that's a very old city. I loved it. At that time it was a very peaceful place. But I always wanted to go abroad to work and study. After I got married in 1988, the economic situation in Pakistan was getting a bit rough so we decided to go to England. After five years in England we came to the U.S. In Pakistan, doctors often travel abroad to train. Many go to England, train and then come home. When they come to America they tend to stay, which is what we did. After doing residency training on the East Coast, we came to Wisconsin because my husband had a friend here. I worked in several small-town hospitals. Then one day I was sick and thought I had picked up a bug. To my surprise, I was pregnant! I was 43 years old and wasn't expecting it at all. It was a happy surprise—a blessing, really. At that time we were thinking about moving to a bigger place. We had visited Madison and really liked it. The downtown's so beautiful, we loved the [Dane County] Farmers' Market, the lakes, the whole thing. We were thinking we'd want to live somewhere with more diversity and opportunities for our daughter, Bella. Then on a beautiful day in July, when Bella was 18 months old, my husband died suddenly. It wasn't a total surprise. He had coronary artery disease and died of a heart attack. But that was hard, and Bella was so little. Emotionally…when you think of that kind of situation you can't imagine getting through it. But when you're in it, you just focus. I had a lot to do—I had to look after Bella and find a place to live. My husband was a strong man and had to do a lot for himself growing up. I drew upon that. 'Weak' is not a term he would have appreciated, especially with Bella. I wasn't going to cry in front of her. I just went into survival mode. I had already interviewed at UW Health in Madison the month before and was offered the job. When they heard about my husband, they were really supportive and said, 'You belong here.' So we came to Madison for a fresh start. Bella is now 10 and through her I've learned about American culture from the ground up. I've enjoyed raising her here. It's much easier for me to be a single parent here than in Pakistan. I also love that whatever you set your mind to here, you can do. Six years ago I rode a bicycle on my own for the first time in my life. The next day I went to Williamson Bicycle Works, bought a bike, and felt like I had been set free. Now I bike whenever I can. And I have a dog—a beautiful German Shepard. In Pakistan, pet dogs are quite uncommon. The day we got her, Bella said, 'Mom, you're really an American now!' and I said 'Yup, now I am.' July 2013 bravamagazine.com 41

Articles in this issue

Links on this page

Archives of this issue

view archives of Brava - July 2013