Brava

July 2012

Issue link: http://read.dmtmag.com/i/74289

Contents of this Issue

Navigation

Page 81 of 83

laugh Insert Witty "eye" pun Here By Laura J. Gallagher Ow. Owie. Ouch. Yikes. My eyes hurt. After nearly two years of seeing double (yes, all the time), I final- " " …I currently have four ophthalmologists, so if you're having trouble getting an appointment, it's probably my fault… to minimize the double vision, and making sure I sit at the proper angles so my pug-like eyes are less noticeable, and the time is fi- nally here to fix it! Because strabismus (double vision) usually af- fects young kids, my ophthalmologic surgeon (I currently have four ophthalmologists, so if you're having trouble getting an appoint- ment, it's probably my fault) has an exam room with stars on the floor, a little tiny chair for patients, and has issued instructions to me like "keep watching the froggie" during my exams. The printed pre-op instructions include reminders to "bring an extra diaper" and say that it's okay to bring my favorite toy to the procedure. I bring my husband Pat. In pre-op, the anesthesiologist asks if I or any immediate family Anywho, since October 2010, I've been wearing one contact lens ly had the surgery to correct it. Right now my eyes are screaming red, oozing something, and aching like nobody's business. I've got acetaminophen with codeine, and I've claimed all our washcloths for cold compresses. I hope you'll forgive this column being a little short this month, as curling into a little whimpering ball several times a day tends to make typing difficult. I promise extra snark next month. The whole journey has been interesting, to say the least. As I've mentioned in previous columns, my thyroid disease brought on a lovely case of thyroid eye disease, which attacks your eye muscles, causing your eyes to bulge and sometimes, as in my case, giving you double vision when your eyes bulge in different directions (because just having bulging eyes isn't horrifying enough). Current medical treatment for TED consists of various special- members have problems with anesthesia. While I didn't inherit the "gardening" or "good handwriting" genes from my mom, I did inherit the "combative under sedation" one. I tell him this, and he assures me that I'll be "good and out." He's true to his word, as the only thing I remember once we get into the operating room is him shooting something into my IV and me saying, "That feels funk…" Apparently I meet with the surgeon afterwards, and somehow we get me home. I do not remember any of this. Now here I sit, not quite a week later. As painful as my eyes are, ists saying, "Yep, you've got thyroid eye disease," and poking at your eyes with blunt objects. You basically have to wait for it to stabilize, which in my case took nearly two years. Then they fix whatever vision or cosmetic problems are left (I've got a lot. Go big or go home). But hey, at least they've developed quick, easy treatments for male pattern baldness and restless leg syndrome! Not that I'm bitter or anything. and as awful as they look, I only see one of everything. When I look in the mirror, both eyes stare back at me, instead of the right one wandering around looking for who knows what. Getting used to single vision again has been a trip—my eyes are trying to figure out how to work together again and the sensation is not unlike navigat- ing a rickety staircase after having too much to drink. I have to lie down. A lot. In fact, that's what I'm gonna do right now. "See" you next month! Laura J. Gallagher is a long-time communications professional. When not teasing her husband, Triple M's Pat Gallagher, she is on Facebook at the Laura J. Gallagher page! ••• 80 BRAVA Magazine July 2012

Articles in this issue

Archives of this issue

view archives of Brava - July 2012