Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/124935
BornHeart of my I am yours and you, truly, are mine: One woman's winding path to and through adoptive motherhood "W By Tracy Brooks 46 BRAVA Magazine May 2013 here does your daughter get her gorgeous red hair?" That's the question I've been asked more times than I can count. But I don't think people realize what a deep question it really can be. While given as a casual compliment, the answer "from her birth mom" is met with surprise and an awkward pause. Then, hesitantly, they might want to know more. To humorously side step that conversation, we used to provide alternate answers ranging from "We found it on the sidewalk" to "She eats a ton of tomatoes." Truly, we love being adoptive parents as much as we love her red hair. But in the early years, there were days when telling a complete stranger our personal journey was just too difficult. It could have been on that particular day I wasn't feeling especially strong emotionally and the question, though always of good intent, brought up the fact she was not born of me—but of my heart. Other days, when answered truthfully, it singled her out and made her feel a bit embarrassed and less "mine." There was even a time when both our kids asked that I not tell people they were adopted. Though adoption is an amazing blessing and a wonderful experience, it also can be a very complex and loaded emotional topic. For us, it carried the ongoing weight of multiple families, medical issues and uncertainty.