Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/46359
"I wanted to use this time to communicate and have clarity." Schreiner describes it, share words of gratitude that "are so often delayed until it's too late." It also gave Brickl a chance to return the favor to those who are important to her. At BCR retreats, women together learn a "sampler" of coping techniques, including yoga, meditation and mindfulness. While the retreats offer skills to face the physical effects of the illness, they also offer attendees a chance to talk about the emotional ef- fects with those in their shoes. Often unable to work or contribute fi nancially to the family as the disease progresses, many struggle to make peace with their role in the "normal" activities of daily life. "[Many] worry that they will become a fi nancial burden, and that they're taking from their family without giving back," Miller says. It is not unusual, she explains, to question their life's purpose, wondering what or who they have lived for. "Th ey may ask questions like 'what legacy am I leaving?'" she says. Many women—like Brickl—create their own support sys- tems, and fi nd ways to explore their lives and spirituality. Th e focus often becomes one of living a quality life while they can. For Brickl, a tighter spiritual connection has paved the way to a level of acceptance that offers both her and her family comfort. "I've had to disconnect my mental mind," she says, trying to put words to something so internal and personal. "I've had to reach into my spirit and center there. It's not easy." It's this message of inner refl ection that Brickl hopes will help others through any diffi culty they face in life. "If I can help one person see [that different perspective]," she says, "I'll feel like my life has been worth it." Th is past May, Brickl's family and friends gathered for a unique birthday party. Dubbed a "life celebration party," about 40 peo- ple gathered to celebrate not only Brickl's birthday, but the ways she has touched their lives. A rare gift in a way, guests took the opportunity to tell Brickl how much she means to them and, as October 2011 bravamagazine.com 63 "My wish to God, as we go on this journey, is that everyone takes something from it to open up their own spirit," she states. Brickl is not using her time to question cancer's appearance in her life. She says she has thought, at length, about those she is leav- ing behind. At her home, family members, especially her sisters, come and go frequently. When she speaks about her family, especially her husband and daughters, it is with love and faith—faith that they will live on and be happy after she has passed. Her goal now, Brickl reveals, is that she live long enough to be a part of Kristen's wed- ding, set for Sept. 24 in Colorado. Her family has all the prepa- rations ready, including a new computer so that Brickl can attend virtually, as her physical condition will not permit her to travel. Brickl is composed as she talks—and at peace with the path that she has walked. It has been, she believes, in many ways a gift, bring- ing her closer to her own faith than she ever would have imagined, and allowing her to fully appreciate her relationships. She shares a quote she feels captures her current sentiments that was stitched into a quilt by one of her daughters: "Diseases cure us by restoring our spiritual participation in life." "I choose to live each day to the fullest," Brickl states fi rmly, "even though it's sometimes hard for me to do it." And that's Shirley Brickl's story—to date. •••