Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/705621
66 • august 2016 • world fence news What really happens at bid lettings continued from page 64 little chart below illustrates what most clients (and taxpayers) might believe is submitted at the bid letting: Honest competition, tight bids, right on budget, champagne corks popping, everyone holding hands and singing "Kumbaya" around a friendly campfire… perfection. Right? No! Here's what really happens at bid lettings: The bids for the city hall ad- dition are due at 2 p.m. At six minutes to two, 127 over-stressed, overweight and exhausted bidders compress into a dark, moldy room designed to hold 12 people. You dart out of the way mil- liseconds before the stampede blasts its way past you and the mob forces its way to the front of the room. Every individual is holding half-sealed pro- posals in hand. Fresh saliva puddles from all the hastily-moistened enve- lopes begins to puddle on the floor in front of the table. The let-tors are the sterile, erect cast of characters perched regally be- hind the antique, wooden table in the front. The let-tees are facing the table and doing their level best to balance broad, over-flowing, builder-shaped bodies on tiny, torturously rock-hard folding chairs. The clock strikes 2 and the most criminally over-dressed oc- cupant at the table regally announces that the bidding is closed. (Herman Frail of Frail Construc- tion lies weeping – a dejected, molten mass on the floor clutching a yellow envelope – just a few feet from the front table. The poor sap didn't make it.) The A/C is broken. The A/C is always broken. The room is suffo- cating and torridly hot. The windows were painted shut during the last ren- ovation and there's an aromatic blend of black-mold and gym socks in the air. You make the conscious decision to breathe through your mouth but it doesn't help. Everyone soldiers on. Now keep in mind that the archi- tect's budget for the project (the intri- cate, concisely-calculated projected cost for the project that the architect pulled out of a particular nether-re- gion early in negotiation for the sole purpose of getting the mayor to sign the design contract) is still $1 million. The bids are read aloud: Pretty special, huh? Oh, but you haven't heard the punchline yet, my fetchingly attractive readers: The proj- ect gets awarded to the DingleDirts! The architect even pats the uneasy mayor on the back as they walk out of the letting, congratulating him on be- ing under budget. He then races like a greyhound on caffeine to his tiny little architect car. The mayor is starting to feel a lit- tle sick to his stomach. And now the games begin! Stay tuned next month for the horrifying (or hilarious, depending on your po- sition in this mess) events as they un- fold! Stephen Saucerman is a full-time commercial construction estimator and project manager for a large up- per-Midwest general contractor. He is also an established freelance writer and author for the construction indus- try whose work spans 20 years and has now been published over 1,000 times in industry mag- azines and periodicals, including World Fence News. He has also published two books: "Moving to Commercial Con- struction" – available at www.ama- zon.com /Moving-Commercial-Con- s t r u c t i o n - S t e p h e n - S a u c e r m a n / dp/1572181036 – (Craftsman Book Company, Carlsbad, Calif.) and Ma- sonry Estimating – available at www. masoncontractors.org – (Masonry Contractors Association of America). In addition to construction and writ- ing, Saucerman taught building con- struction technology part-time for 11 years at Rock Valley College in Rock- ford, Ill. He offers speaking and lec- turing programs on a variety of topics (call or e-mail for more information). For more information, contact Sau- cerman at 701-240-4927 or e-mail StephenSaucerman@gmail.com. Any resemblance between persons or ob- jects in real life is coincidental, and any trade names that are incidentally mentioned are for illustrative purpos- es only and do not imply endorsement of them by the author or World Fence News. HammerTacker Construction Base bid: $1,023,000 Toenail Contractors Base bid: $1,048,000 DingleDirt Brothers Co. Base bid: $ 999,900 B, H & Y Builders Base bid: $1,002,000 Ringshank Building Group Base bid: $1,016,000 HammerTacker Construction Base bid: $1,452,000 Toenail Contractors Base bid: $1,983,800 DingleDirt Brothers Co. Base bid: $596,111.32 B, H & Y Builders Base bid: $2,695,200 Ringshank Building Group Base bid: $14,710,000