Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/72324
laugh Bussed a Move By Laura J. Gallagher " " ...the biggest advantage– it's environmentally friendly so I can feel all green and superior and Madison-y. people. With the exception of No Blink, who freaks me the heck out. Seriously, she NEVER BLINKS! I'm starting to think she has eyes painted on her eyelids and she's actually sleeping. I wear an iPod so that my commute has a nice soundtrack. This I work downtown, which makes daily parking, let's say, the op- posite of fun. I either have to pay through the proverbial nose to park in a lot, or take my chances on street parking. Finding street parking is one of those great urban adventures, like finding money on the sidewalk or dodging earnest kids handing out pamphlets on their favorite causes ("No, thanks." "No, thanks!" "No, thanks!" "NO, THANKS!"). I usually end up parking so far away from my office that I might as well have walked from home. Then I get the fun of moving my car every two hours so don't I get a ticket. Driving around the block and then parking in the same spot constitutes "moving," doesn't it? Because dealing with all that nonsense, quite frankly, blows, I usually take the bus. This brings its own set of challenges, but they lean more toward the "amusing anecdote" side of things rather than the "make me annoyed for the rest of the day" variety. I really like taking the bus for the most part. I can daydream, or can cause its own issues; as a rocker from way back, I have a tough time not bobbing my head or singing along. It was especially chal- lenging a few weeks ago when I was listening to Duran Duran's version of "White Lines." Not only is singing along not a good idea in general, I'm sure shouting "Cane!" "Sugar!" "Cane!" "Sugar!" "Freebase!" would earn me my own nickname right quick. Sometimes the song I'm listening to fits so perfectly with how I'm feeling and what's going on around me that I think I'm being filmed, like how "Oblivious" was playing the time I saw a girl walk into a street sign because she was so engrossed in her texting. I'm not even kidding; it was like, "Obliiiiiiivious" BLAM! It's also amusing when the song is completely incongruous to what's going on, like when we're just sitting in traffic and some frenetic Ramones song is playing, or a big sweaty guy sits next to me just as "Mon Couer S'Ouvre a Ta Voix" from Samson et Delilah starts up. The other day I thought my headphones had died, so I resigned plan my day, or concoct elaborate revenge fantasies instead of deal- ing with traffic hassles. The bus I take is filled mostly with students and university workers heading downtown so everyone's quite friendly and obliging. It stops roughly three blocks from both my home and office so I don't have too long of a walk or wait in either direction. Plus, when I get on the bus and sit down, I always have "The Bob Newhart Show" theme song running in my head. And the biggest advantage—it's environmentally friendly so I can feel all green and superior and Madison-y. One of the fun things about taking the bus is nicknaming all your fellow passengers, especially the ones you see every day. There's Snazzy Hat, Hagrid, Coffee-Scented Melissa McCarthy, Phlegmy McCoughington, Guy With Cute Son, and No Blink, among others. Despite the rude-sounding nicknames, I actually like these myself to a soundtrack-less commute. Of course, that would be the day I ended up sitting in front of Angry-Muttering-to-Himself Guy, who proceeded to question the driver's route and kvetch about construction, mud, backpacks, dry cleaners, dogs, and people of various ethnicities in short order. What's weird is, even though I hadn't noticed him before or since, he was on my bus both ways that day, and in the evening he was quietly and (seemingly) happily reading a book. He must really not be a morning person. So, if you're like me and would rather observe humanity than participate in it, the bus is the perfect place to craft your own little movies in your head. Just make sure that if you cast a woman with a gray backpack, cowboy boots, and an old-school iPod in yours, you give her a nice nickname. "Ms. Fabulous" will do nicely. Laura J. Gallagher is a long-time communications professional. When not teasing her husband, Triple M's Pat Gallagher, she is on Facebook at the Laura J. Gallagher page! ••• 80 BRAVA Magazine June 2012