Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/84343
The current DAIS shelter has just six bedrooms for those seeking shelter. the unexpected twist in her life, the real- ity is that domestic abuse isn't an obscure phenomenon. It is estimated that one-quarter of all While Cornell struggled to confront American women are victims of domestic abuse. It's found in six-bedroom manors as easily as Section 8 apartments. It hap- pens to people with doctoral degrees and to those who've never graduated high school, and to all kinds of people in between. Locally and throughout the country, it's an epidemic hidden in plain sight. Yet, many are often afraid to seek help. Though it may seem surprising from the outside, those in the situation often don't realize how bad it's gotten until the cards suddenly seemed stacked against them. "There were little red flags that added up how complex the issues can be," she says. "Domestic violence doesn't happen on the first date. It [builds over] a long time in the relationship, starting at the honeymoon stage when the abuser is gathering infor- mation [about the victim]. "Batterers will then use a tactic as long as it works," Barry continues. "Once it stops working, they escalate. So, if a vic- tim stands up and says, 'You know, I'm not ugly, so please stop saying that,' then the abuser will escalate to the next thing." And when that survivor is ready to take "It's very difficult to conceptualize just to big stuff," Cornell explains. "Things you just blow off at the time. He had my bank accounts. He had moved my cell phone onto his plan, saying he was helping me out. It was really so he could look through each phone call and text message." When it all added up? "He'd taken away all control," she says. It's a situation all too common and the kind of story Shannon Barry, the executive director of Dane County's Domestic Abuse Intervention Services (DAIS) has heard time and time again. the next—and often giant—step of seeking help from the outside, there can be a myr- iad of hurdles in the way. From economic to emotional, the process of potentially uprooting life to start anew can be daunt- ing, to say the least. This is where DAIS comes in. "It's important for us to get that message out that we want people to engage with us early, before they're even considering that it might reach that [physically abusive] point, so we can help them set a plan—even if they just having this niggling in the back of their mind," she explains. And while DAIS has been successful in developing ways to aid victims, when it comes to reaching more, they've faced hurdles of their own. October 2012 bravamagazine.com 53