Issue link: http://read.dmtmag.com/i/267325
MARCH 2014 | BRAVAMAGAZINE.COM 41 WHY THEY LIVE LARGE "SˬYOUNGCOUPLE&RIKˬND+ULIETˬLKEDˬBOUTHˬVINGTWOOR THREECHILDREN"FTERTHEIRǠRSTTHREETHE$USHMˬNSWHOLIVE in Middleton, say the biggest leap was to have a fourth. "After that, you just get into the groove," Erik says. ŀEREˬSONTHEYˬDDEDTOTHEIRBROODˬFTERTHˬT n8EJUSTKEPT feeling like someone was missing when we sat down to dinner," +ULIESˬYS She adds that many might be surprised to know that several stereotypes do not apply to their family: "We are not Catholic; we do not homeschool; all of our kids share the same parents; none of our kids were 'surprises;' we both come from very small families; we don't have a TLC show and we are not crazy, at least NOTCERTIǠˬBLYo PARENTING STYLE Like all three big families interviewed for this story, the Cush- mans are tough to rattle. "S+ULIESˬTˬTHERKITCHENTˬBLETRYINGTOHˬVEˬNˬDULTCONVER- sation, she was simultaneously making sure Luke wasn't taking THINGSOUTOFTHECUPBOˬRDHELPING#ENǠXˬTOYFREQUENTLY picking up and putting down both Ben and Luke, assisting +ˬCOBˬND4ˬRˬWITHTHEIRHOMEWORKˬNDPLˬNNINGTRˬNSPORTˬ- tion to and from dance with Payton. And she did it calmly— with a smile no less. n*THINKWEmRELˬIDBˬCKBUTǠRMo&RIKSˬYSn8EROLLWITH the punches." ŀEYˬLSOEMPHˬSIZETHEVˬLUEOFHUMORn*THINK*mMFUNNYΖo &RIKSˬYSˬS+ULIEˬNDSOMEOFTHEKIDSLˬUGHn'ORMELIFEISTOO short to be real serious or down. We joke around a lot. And we always hear people comment that our kids are so happy." Nicknames are big in the Cushman home—each child has one, as do their vehicles. And they laugh about their pets' names, TOOr+OJOTHE1UGGLE#OBˬND)OBTHEFROGSˬND%ˬRLˬTHEǠSH But joking around doesn't mean they don't lay down the law. +ULIEˬND&RIKSˬYTHˬTTHEYmVETRIEDTOINSTILLTHEIRCHILDRENWITH STRONGVˬLUESLIKERESPECTŀEYˬDMITTHˬTSOMEPEOPLELOOK skeptical when their family of nine sits down at a restaurant. ŀENˬFTERTHEMEˬLPˬTRONSˬNDSERVERSWILLOFTENCOMECOM- pliment them on their kids' behavior. ONE-ON-ONE TIME Life can be hectic with three children or one child, and most parents struggle to spend special time with kids, and with their spouses. What if you added 8 to 10 more to the family mix? #UTTHE$USHMˬNSDOǠNDWˬYSTOBUILDINBONDINGTIMEWITH each kid—and each other. +ULIESTˬYSHOMEWITH-UKEˬND#ENDURINGTHEDˬYGIVINGHER ˬHEˬLTHYDOSEOF25ŀENONCETHEELEMENTˬRYSCHOOLKIDSBE- gin tramping through the door from school, she gets involved in THEIRˬFTERSCHOOLˬCTIVITIESŀEOLDERKIDSˬREUPLˬTERˬFTERTHE younger ones go to bed, so that's often an opportunity to talk with them. "NDEVERY4ˬTURDˬY+ULIEOR&RIKWILLTˬKEONECHILDOUTTO breakfast, rotating through the whole family. nŀˬTmSˬGOODTIMETOCHECKˬNDSEEIFTHEYHˬVESOMETHINGON THEIRMINDo+ULIESˬYS #UTMOSTIMPORTˬNTSˬY+ULIEˬND&RIKISMˬKINGTIMEFOR each other. It's obvious they have mutual respect and love. n+ULIEISTHEWHOLEREˬSONTHˬTWECˬNHˬVETHISLˬRGEFˬMILY You have to have someone who loves children and who is just to- TˬLLYCOMMITTED+ULIEHˬSDONESUCHˬGREˬTJOBWITHEˬCHKIDo Erik says. He adds, "Date night is a must. It's just really important for us TOHˬVETIMETOTˬLKˬNDLISTENTOEˬCHOTHER+USTHˬVEˬSLOWMEˬL and discuss things, uninterrupted." While they admit they probably don't get as much one-on- one time with each child as families with fewer children, they do have the advantage of watching their children interact and grow TOGETHER+ULIEˬDDSn8ˬTCHINGYOURBˬBYFˬLLˬSLEEPINYOUR teenage boy's arms is pretty special." SACRIFICES Of course, the family has had to cut back on some luxuries. One BIGGIE 'ˬMILYTRIPS+ULIESˬYSITmSJUSTǠNˬNCIˬLLYNOTFEˬSIBLEFOR them to all travel together. But they try to give their kids other OPPORTUNITIESTOBROˬDENTHEIRPERSPECTIVES+ULIEmSHˬDˬNON going relationship with a family in Brazil, and 15-year-old Matt will visit the country this summer while a Brazilian "sister" will travel to stay with them in Wisconsin. #UT+ULIEINSISTSTHˬTMOTHERINGHˬSˬLWˬYSBEENHERPˬSSION ˬNDSHEDOESNmTFEELLIKESHEISSˬCRIǠCINGMUCHˬTˬLL*NFˬCT she feels lucky. n8HENYOUTˬLKˬBOUTˬSˬCRIǠCEYOUmRETˬLKINGˬBOUTSOME- thing you don't want to give up," Erik says. "But I feel there's nothing like that for me. I'm very happy, and I don't need fancy stuff. If we had two kids we'd be living in a big house and taking FˬNCYVˬCˬTIONSŀENYOULOSESIGHTOFWHˬTLIFEmSˬBOUTo He adds, "Each kid is unique and so awesome in his or her own WˬY+USTTOSEEWHˬTTHEYˬREGOINGTOBELIKEˬNDWHˬTTHEIR personality is like, there's nothing else like that." JULIE (40), ERIK (42), MATT (15), PAYTON (13), EMMA (11), SARA (8), JACOB (6), BEN (4), LUKE (1) CUSHMAN