Issue link: http://read.dmtmag.com/i/76514
YOURSELF If there is ever a time when you should give yourself a little more TLC it's when you're wrestling with the stress of big life changes. "Focusing on physical, emotional, intellectual and even spiritual needs can help a woman recover faster," Atkin explains. "Exercise, traveling, meditation or even writing out your emotions in a journal. The best recovery happens when we … self-sooth in healthy ways." It's a sentiment Williamson echoes, noting how stress can not only take a toll on us mentally, but be a drag physically as well. "Catching colds and illnesses are common [when going through an event like this]," she ex- plains. "[So] self-care … [such as] going for a walk, eating healthy, listening to music or getting rest … is essential." From daily life to something bigger, Atkin also recommends rediscovering yourself through new (or reclaimed) hobbies as a way to keep your confidence and spirits high. "Learn a new skill or go back to school," she advises. "[Be open to trying] anything that builds self-esteem." While some choose to mark this transition quietly, others choose to gather their support sys- tems and kick off their new life in a fresh way. Today's trend? "Divorce parties" thrown to mark the occasion as a positive turning point. "Just like how the beginning of a marriage is celebrated with a ritual, the end of a relationship can also be marked as a day of new beginnings," Atkin says. No matter how you choose to start anew, focus on positive ways you can get through the journey without letting your health fall to the wayside. "Each person has their own way of healing," Atkin explains. "Whatever it is … this is a great place for just basically being gentle with [yourself]." Face the "[We] can turn divorce into a positive experience by understanding [ourselves] more fully," explains Williamson. "It is a chance to take a deeper look at one's needs and dreams for the future." It may not be the future you envisioned, but that doesn't mean you can't live out new dreams. In fact, many say divorce is a chance to do some- thing you've always wanted to—big or small. "Allow yourself to create a new vision for the future," Williamson suggests. "If you can picture something positive, you have more of a chance of obtaining it." Yet, if concerns for your financial or emotional well-being are making your dreams seem far off, rely on your support network. Use your experts to calm fears and get answers about your legal and financial futures, and use your personal support- ers to help you laugh, cry and get back to who you really are. But, most of all, trust yourself. Don't rush into anything you aren't ready for, particularly the dating scene, say not only women who've been there, but the experts. "It's often recommended to wait some time before dating to allow healing," Williamson explains. "But I also believe it's good to be open to experiences." Whatever experiences are on the horizon for you, it may be the right time to embrace them. Boost your career Organizations such as the Wisconsin Women's Business Initiative Corporation provide a host of courses to improve your resume. Visit wwbic.com. Start a new hobby From arts and crafts to fitness and more, look to easy fall offerings through Madison Community Schools and Recreation or your local YMCA. Visit mscr.org and ymcamadison.org. Learn new skills Look for personal enrich- ment, language, professional development courses and more through UW-Madison and Madison College. Visit continuingstudies.wisc.edu and matcmadison.edu. Wondering if you're ready to date again? According to Atkin, it's best to make sure you've resolved your previous rela- tionship before seeking out a new one. "The best prepara- tion for dating is to deal with whatever baggage you have and then get really clear about what you're looking for in an- other relationship," she says. 62 BRAVA Magazine August 2012 Go Easy on Future