Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/134350
The Art of Manliness Continued he trusts them — that he knows there is no malice behind a moniker that in another context would be considered a putdown. So while a nickname often starts as a form of ribbing, if the member is able to take it, he will become more integrated into the group. In a way, it's a form of hazing.Thus nicknames in male groups, despite looking like insults to outsiders, are actually honorific titles showing that a man has been accepted by the others. Conversely, a man who will not accept his nickname — "My name is Ralph! Don't call me Dumbo!" — shows that he does not trust his brothers and thus cannot be fully integrated into the group. How Nicknames Test & Solidify the Bonds Between Men JOBS for TEAMS | Once nicknames have been established, they serve to test and reinforce the bonds between the men in a group. You yourself may have used, or seen other men use, seemingly derogatory language in greeting a friend."Hey bastard!""What's up fat ass?"What may seem to others to be a puzzling ritual and paradoxical way to demonstrate one's friendship, can actually be a way for men to show — and to test — the solidity of their bond. A man will use an insulting greeting when he feels confident enough in the relationship to know he will not offend. At the same time, if the greeting does evoke a negative response — perhaps one friend has been nursing a grudge unbeknownst to the other — it will bring this rift to the surface."Hey bastard!""Who you calling a bastard, you asshole?"As Diego Gambetta, author of Code of the Underworld, puts it, when the interaction does engender "a negative response, this brings a switch from innocent banter to strategic interaction." This "insulting" greeting can serve to ferret out and then deal with ill-feelings. In the same way, each time a man 22 JobsForTeams0613_manliness.indd 4 answers to his group nickname without umbrage, it indicates that the ties between the men remain solid – it's a constant sonar test, sounding the depth of those bonds. In groups that face risk and challenge together, trust and loyalty are paramount, and nicknames help men to know they have placed their trust and loyalty well. Now that you understand the function of nicknames within a male group, it becomes possible to finally see the underlying rationale behind the prohibition against giving yourself a nickname, and why we find others' attempts to do so ridiculous and funny — nicknames must be bestowed upon you by your male peers. Inventing a nickname for yourself is read as an attempt at gaining a privilege without earning it first — something a low status man like George Costanza would do. The Genesis of Nicknames in Male Groups Nicknames, which contrast with formal, deferential modes of address, demonstrate the equality of members of a group, and any fully fledged member of a group may bestow a nickname on another.The ability to coin a good, clever nickname can in turn give a member more status and popularity. What makes a good nickname? A nickname that will stick manages to distill down a story or a defining personal trait into one or two words. Bernard Rosenberg, who studied criminal gangs, noted how gang members would "size each other up, and then, put their findings in pithy nicknames–names which explain the man in a word–his weakness, his racket, how he works, or some peculiarity about him."Anthropologist Anthony P. Cohen argues that,"The hallmark of the apt nickname is that deft touch of nuance, mocking humour, pungent wit, and droll www.jobsforteams.com 5/7/13 11:07 AM