Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/32804
military moms became her refuge. She spent countless hours online, look- ing for encouragement, guidance and a voice that could say, “I’ve been there.” It was on one of those Internet searches that she came across Blue Star Mothers. Af- ter Wagner’s first meeting with the local chapter, the hover mother knew she had found her mission. Soldiers often say war is an experience you can’t understand unless you’ve been through it. Mothers, meanwhile, are fond of saying the same thing about parenting. And when looking for help through the unique challenges of either situation, they often turn to others who have been in the trenches. It’s this concept that serves as the bed- rock for Blue Star Mothers. A non-polit- ical, non-partisan organization, BSM was established during World War II in Flint, Mich., after a local newspaper invited mothers to submit information about their children serving in the armed forces. When more than 1,000 women responded, BSM was born. Within the next year, the orga- nization swelled to include chapters in nine other states, including Wisconsin. Several decades later, Wisconsin be- came home to two chapters of BSM, both focused on the same efforts that have long defined their work: providing emotional support for parents of soldiers and putting their boots on the ground to volunteer in the community and send supplies to troops overseas. With one branch of BSM stationed in Racine, Wagner leads the chapter that meets monthly in Appleton—a location strategically chosen to make the group ac- cessible to more moms across the state. Though membership for Wagner’s chap- ter has grown slightly in the last year, it still hovers at 50, a miniscule amount consid- ering the estimated 17,000 service people enlisted in the military who call Wisconsin home. But for those who come to BSM meet- ings, reflecting on the challenges of being a soldier’s parent can be a profound ex- perience. If she wouldn’t have stumbled on BSM online, Wagner says she doesn’t know how she would have coped. “Knowing that I [wasn’t] having a ner- vous breakdown, that my feelings [were] normal and they [were] all experiencing the same thing…” Wagner says. “I just figured this was the place for me to be involved.” In addition to the relief of finding others in her shoes, there has been the therapeu- tic experience of staying involved in their children’s lives by putting together care packages. In the last few years, Wagner’s group has 44 BRAVA Magazine May 2011