Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/34058
I’M JUST SAY’N For Richer and Poorer Financial balance of marriage often shifts, but love shouldn’t Dear Carolyn, I earn twice what my owner-opera- tor husband earns, and that is fine with me. I went to graduate school, got my CPA and work long but easy hours. I am in love with my husband and consider myself the luckiest woman alive! He’s everything I ever wanted in a man, and nobody in any of my college or graduate school classes can hold a candle to him. The problem is that he is ashamed of his career and worries he can’t contribute to the household expenses as much as I do. How do I convince him it doesn’t matter? Julie Dear Julie, Awww, you had me at “luckiest woman alive.” This is his problem, not yours. You just continue doing what you do and give him some time to work through it. One thing to keep in mind is that finances change throughout the lifetime of a mar- riage. You may decide to take time off to have children. He may decide to buy a few more trucks. The financial balance may change, but the emotional balance is the one that counts. Don’t let him ruin a good thing. Julie’s Husband, if you are reading this, stop complaining and enjoy your good fortune! I’m just say’n. 38 TRUCKERS NEWS JULY 2011 Dear Carolyn, THIS IS HIS PROBLEM, NOT YOURS. YOU JUST CONTINUE DOING WHAT YOU DO AND GIVE HIM SOME TIME TO WORK THROUGH IT. ONE THING TO KEEP IN MIND IS THAT FINANCES CHANGE THROUGHOUT THE LIFETIME OF A MARRIAGE. I have to say that I’m sick and tired of reading about how truckers need to get moving, eat better and get healthier. As if our lives were not tough enough, we’ve got to listen to all you trucking writ- ers telling us how to live them. However, now that I got that off my chest, can you give me a few exercise tips that I can actually do? Thanks, Jess Dear Jess Um, sure. You know that feeling you get when you work out really hard and everything hurts so bad you can’t move? No? I didn’t think you did. Take a walk. Seri- ously. That’s free advice that can save your life. Get off the couch and walk somewhere. Down the driveway, across the street and then back. Rest. Repeat. Each day, add a little bit more. When you stop at a truckstop, park a few extra truck lengths away. Walk a few minutes. Rest. Walk a few more minutes. Add more minutes. When you can walk comfort- ably for 30 minutes, send me an e-mail and we’ll pick it up from there. Meanwhile, join the Truck’n Runners group on Facebook. There are lots of nice folks there that will offer you encouragement. Way, way nicer than me! I’m just say’n. Dear Carolyn, I am a pretty lonely guy and can’t seem to figure why. I am a profes- sional truck driver, in good shape and am well read. I also have nearly 600 “friends” on Facebook. What do you think is the problem? Billy Dear Billy, Driving a pick-up truck doesn’t make a guy a trucker any more than having 600 Facebook friends makes a guy popular. You have to meet real humans in order to be human. Stop focusing so much on your web world and start engaging in the real world. Get out more. Join a club, take up a hobby, buy a girl a coffee at a bookstore. Do anything that puts you and all your stellar qualities in situa- tions where you can meet other people. I’m just say’n. Visit Carolyn’s I’m Just Say’n blog for daily love and relationship advice: www.truckersnews. com/ask-carolyn CAROLYN MAGNER Carolyn Magner is not a professional thera- pist, shrink or even a very nice person. Her advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your terrible, desperate problems. E-mail Carolyn at cmagner@rrpub.com.