Issue link: http://read.dmtmag.com/i/141342
Yuliya Henes Hometown: St. Petersburg, Russia Age: 33 Occupation: Health physicist at the UW Office of Radiation "I came to America because I found true love." M y journey to Madison started in Russia when I was 13. One day my teacher offered us addresses of American kids so we could become pen pals. This was really common. The idea was that you could write letters, practice English and have fun. So I sent out three letters. My English was really bad and my letter just said simple things like: 'I am Yuliya, I live in St Petersburg, this what I like,' etc. Six months later, I got one reply from a boy in Madison named Scott. We continued exchanging about two letters per year. As we got older we talked about going to college and what was going on in our lives. We never flirted—we were just really friendly. He also kept asking one question in every single letter: How did you find my address? Because he couldn't remember giving his address for the pen pal program. But I didn't understand why he was asking this so I never answered. Eventually he joked, 'You must have written because I was the only boy in the world for you.' After he had just graduated from college and I had one year left of school, he visited St. Petersburg. I was freaked out because of the language barrier. And it was frustrating at first because I had a hard time understanding him. We went out to see sites every day. Then when it was time to take him to the airport I was sad. I had grown attached and I realized I might never see him again. I knew my chances of coming to the U.S. were zero. But shortly afterward he asked me to come visit. So I went to the consulate and was told that in order to visit Scott in America I would need to fill out paperwork for a fiancé visa. I left and cried for the rest of the day. When I told Scott there was a quiet moment. Then he said he'd come back to Russia in eight months for another visit. During that trip, we started to form a relationship. He even gave me a ring and said, 'It's a friendship ring.' Then after he returned to the U.S. he said, 'Let's just do the paperwork for the visa.' At the time I was thinking that I would come to Wisconsin and if we didn't like each other I'd just leave. We weren't really thinking long-term. But I was hoping it would work out. For a month, we traveled and had fun. Then one day we were lying in the grass when he said, 'So? Should we marry?' I said, 'Let's get married!' A few weeks later we got married in a courthouse with just a few people there. It was exciting. I was 22 and just trying to enjoy that time. About four years later we had a daughter. Sometimes when I tell people I moved to Madison to get married they think I'm a mail-order bride. But I don't really get upset. I mostly think it's funny. And I like it here. I miss cultural things in Russia—theater and ballet. But with a kid you want to stay somewhere quieter. What is most important? You have a family and a job and that's what's important. And if you're happy with whom you're with, it doesn't matter where you are. 38 BRAVA Magazine July 2013