46 BRAVA MAGAZINE | AUGUST 2014
92
%
THE SUCCESS RATE OF STAYING
SOBER FOR THREE YEARS AFTER
ONE YEAR OF COMBINED
TREATMENT (SUPPORT THERAPY
AND MEDICINE).
–KIM JORGENSEN, MANAGER OF MERITER'S
NEWSTART SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROGRAM
200
MILLION
THE NUMBER OF PAINKILLER
PRESCRIPTIONS DISTRIBUTED
IN 2011 (A 200% INCREASE
SINCE 1991).
–CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL
AND PREVENTION, 2013
18
THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF
WOMEN THAT DIE EVERY DAY
FROM A PRESCRIPTION
PAINKILLER OVERDOSE
IN THE U.S.
–CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL
AND PREVENTION, 2013
"IT'S LIKE A BIG SIGH…LIKE AN 'AAHH'
going over your entire body," Edwards
EXPLˬINSSLUMPINGGENTLYINTOHERSEˬTˬS
if to show the sudden loosening of a body
ONPˬINKILLERS
Edwards had seen close up the dan-
GERSOFˬDDICTIONINHERǠRSTHUSBˬND
who struggled with alcoholism for years
BEFOREITEVENTUˬLLYKILLEDHIM#UT&D-
wards had never dealt with substance
ˬBUSEHERSELFrˬNDTHELOVEˬFFˬIRWITH
pills snuck up on her quietly and without
WˬRNINGˬSITOFTENDOES
"I had had [painkillers] when I had
KIDSBUTNOTHINGŀEN*STˬRTED
having chronic problems with kidney
STONES4O*HˬDCONSTˬNTˬCCESSTOTHEM
and noticed that even if I wasn't in pain, I
loved the way I felt [when taking them],"
SHEEXPLˬINS
ŀOMˬS8RIGHTTHECHIEFMEDICˬLOǝ-
cer for Rosecrance, an addictions services
organization for adults and adolescents,
EXPLˬINSWHYTˬKINGNˬRCOTICSCˬNHˬVE
SUCHˬSTRONGPULLONTHEBRˬINn*TSTIM-
ulates the release of dopamine and when
that gets released in the reward pathway,
YOUFEELEUPHORIˬ4OYOURBRˬINSˬYSl0H
THISFEELSGOODWESHOULDDOITˬGˬINmo
For many women dealing with a slew
OFDˬILYSTRESSORSˬNXIETYORDEPRESSION
the high of painkillers can be especially
ˬLLURING
"I loved my job, but it was high stress,"
Edwards says of how her use went from
helping with kidney stone pain to being a
PˬNˬCEˬFORˬNYSTRESSINHERLIFE
n6NTREˬTEDDEPRESSIONISˬPRETTYCOM-
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GENSENn$OMBINETHˬTWITHˬCHRONIC
pain issue and then there's that double
WHˬMMYcˬNDTHEPˬINPILLWILLGETRIGHT
INTHERE<ˬNDPROVIDERELIEF>o
#UT THEREmS ˬ SINISTER EQUˬTION THˬT
awaits an opiate drug user: After a short
time one pill doesn't equal a high any-
more, so you have to keep upping the
ˬNTE"SOCCˬSIONˬLUSESLOWLYBECˬME
ˬDˬILYǠXˬTIONˬNDTHENEEDFORMORE
pills, Edwards found ways to keep them
COMING
"Nobody paid attention back then,"
she says of her addiction that progressed
BETWEENˬNDn*KNEWHOW
TOMˬNIPULˬTETHESYSTEMˬNDˬSKFORIT
*NSTEˬDOFTHETYPICˬLLOWDOSE7ICODIN*
KNEWHOWTOˬSKFORTHEDOUBLEDOSEŀEN
*KNEWHOWTOˬSKFOR1ERCOCETWHICHISˬ
LITTLESTRONGERo&DWˬRDSSˬYS
In a few years, the pills would disappear
more quickly, and Edwards, an ER nurse
ˬTTHETIMEFOUNDCRˬFTIERWˬYSTOSCORE
"All it took was a doctor making a joke
THˬTGˬVEMEPERMISSION
He certainly was not giving me permis-
SIONΖ#UTINMYˬDDICTMIND*THOUGHTHE
DIDNmTCˬREoSHERECˬLLSn"PˬTIENTHˬD
DECIDEDSHEWˬNTED*7PˬINMEDICˬTION
but I had already taken the pill into the
ROOM4OHESˬIDlŀROWITOUTWˬSTEIT
TˬKEITFORˬLL*CˬREmo
ŀˬT WˬS THˬT &DWˬRDS BEGˬN SUP-
plementing her supply by supposedly
discharging patients with a few pills, but
THEN TˬKING THEM FOR HERSELF ŀOUGH
she never took any pills that were truly
prescribed to a patient, she admits her
ˬDDICTIONWˬSSOBˬDSHEMIGHTHˬVE
:ETSHEWˬSNmTREˬDYTOCOMECLEˬN
and the internal rationalizations were
PLENTIFULn*mMNOTHURTINGˬNYONE/O-
BODYKNOWSŀEHOSPITˬLMˬKESTONSOF
MONEY*WORKMYBUTTOFFFORTHEMET
CETERˬoSHESˬYSOFHERINNERDIˬLOGUE
ŀESEDˬYS&DWˬRDSISUNǢINCHINGLY
HONESTˬBOUTWHˬTSHEDID"PUTTO-
gether woman who looks you in the eyes
when telling her story, Edwards speaks
so candidly, it's hard to imagine her
sneaking around and stashing pills in her
POCKETSHERCˬRHERPURSE
"It started off that I would only take
ONEPILLˬSHIFToSHESˬYSn#UTBYTHE
end of my days in the ER I was taking at
LEˬSTNINEŀˬTmSHOW*ENDEDUPGETTING
CˬUGHTo
"IT'S QUITE SECRETIVE," EXPLˬINS4HELLY
%UTCHˬFORMERˬDDICTHERSELFˬNDNOW
DIRECTOR OF $ONNECTIONS $OUNSELING
an addiction and mental health facility
(where Edwards would eventually seek
TREˬTMENT
nŀˬTmSONEOFTHETHINGSWE
SEE FREQUENTLY <8OMEN> COME IN ˬND
nobody knew they were deep into some-
THING<*TmS>THˬTDENIˬLŀˬTmSWHˬTKEEPS
PEOPLESTUCKo
Edwards wanted to be a nurse since she
was a little girl poring over books on how
BODIESWORK4OWHENSHEWˬSPULLEDINTO
a room with her supervisor and hospital
administrators and confronted about the
higher-than-usual numbers of pain-
killers disappearing from the ER on her
watch, she wanted to protect her career,
ˬNDOFCOURSEHIDEHERˬDDICTION4OSHE
PˬNICKED"NDSHELIEDrFORTHENEXTTWO
YEˬRS
