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8. Rediscover each other outside the bedroom, too. Spicing it up isn't just about sexy under-things or toys. In fact it could be said that the couple who plays together has sex together. "Intimacy is so much more than just a physical encounter," Staple explains. "If [couples] can build their connection outside of the bedroom, it tends to improve their desire to [have sex]." From sports or dancing to hobbies such as cooking, regularly taking time to try new activities together can boost the health, vitality and sexiness of your relationship in the long run. "Long-term couples are more romantic and happy when they discover new facets of each other, which allows you to keep the sparks going," Barnard explains. 9. Don't put up with pain. The bedroom is no place to be stoic. But unfortunately for many women, pain is one of the most common sexual issues that gets buried under the covers. "Some women go years of intercourse with pain," Staple explains. It doesn't have to be that way. Whether it's vaginal dryness (which is often easily addressed with a water- based lubricant), discomfort deep within the vagina, skin infl ammation, or a psychological issue (such as past sexual abuse) that makes sex uncomfort- able, Barnard says there are plenty of explanations—and treatments—for sex-related pain. Yet she warns that some doctors are less familiar with these conditions, and advises that women seek care from a doctor who specializes in women's health. "[If you get the right help], most problems can be treated successfully if you get it early and you're very careful," Barnard explains. The bottom line? "Sex should never hurt," Staple says. "If it does, there might be something going on, so talk to a suitable health care provider." 10. Embark on solo missions. "Masturbation is probably the best tool [for improving your sex life] but one of the most underutilized," Staple explains. How does time alone improve the time you share with your partner? Basically, it's about getting the ball rolling. Staple says staying engaged with your body can help boost your libido. "The more sexually active you are, the more interested you become," she says. If the desire is there, but the time or space is not, you might have to pull a few strings to make time for yourself. Ask your partner to do the dishes or take care of the kids so you can take a bath alone. Or at the end of the day, retire to bed early "to read." "By the time [your partner] comes to bed, and [you've had] sexual thoughts or contact with yourself, [you'll be] more interested in being sexually involved," Staple says. 11. Don't overlook your overall health. Is there nothing a good diet and exercise can't improve? Whether you already lead a healthy life or want to improve your health both inside and out, here's a bit of extra motivation to keep you active and eating right. "[Regular exercise or even just] taking a walk for 30 minutes a day, fi ve days a week, has been shown to improve blood fl ow to the lower half of the body, including the genitals," Staple explains. "If you have better blood pressure and muscle mass, you're more likely to experience arousal." As for diet, most of the usual healthy-eating suspects are included in A Woman's Touch's "Good Sex Diet"—one of the shop's most popular brochures that aims to help you understand the connection between food and sex—including fresh veggies and fruit along with healthier oils such as olive, avocado and fi sh oils, nuts and legumes as well as antioxidant drinks such as tea. But our favorite inclusion? Dark chocolate! Not only does this indulgence get you going because it tastes good, a few squares of a variety with at least 65 percent cacao can provide antioxidants that are good for the whole body. Dip fresh strawberries in melted dark choco- late or enjoy a few squares alone, however you nibble, indulging can be pleasurable in more ways than one! Boost your body's sexual arousal system by regularly eating foods high in Vitamin D and calcium, antioxi- dents and lean protein. September 2011 bravamagazine.com 61