Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/124935
mine which countries we'd consider and began the official documentation of our adoption application. It was challenging and somewhat degrading to have to prove ourselves worthy of parenting on so many levels—personally, professionally, financially, spiritually, you name it. During all this "evaluating," the agency encouraged us to provide a portfolio for the office in case a prospective birth mom searched for a family through them. We made a "Dear Birthmother" letter with photos and information on why we'd be great parents. Just before we took another step toward international adoption, a different path to parenthood appeared: A mother right here in Dane County chose us as parents for her son. One day, I had only a deep longing for a baby of my own, the next, I had less than two weeks to prepare our lives for a 3-month-old baby boy. Our perfectly beautiful bundle of joy became our son just before Christmas in 1997. As it does with any family awaiting the birth of a child, so much laughter and love entered our home with his arrival that winter. " " Our adoption journey, in many ways, is not all that unusual. My husband Shawn and I met 21 years ago, fell deeply in love and dreamed of starting a family. Months of trying to become pregnant turned into years, followed by many visits to specialists and unsuccessful attempts at treatment for severe endometriosis. The five-year rollercoaster ride of infertility included medications and physically, financially and emotionally invasive procedures, all followed by the same result: negative. Of course, these were the years it seemed every other week, another friend or relative announced with excitement, "We're pregnant!" Attending the many baby showers and putting on a happy face when inside I felt truly miserable was tough. The innocent question, "When are you going to be next?" served blows to my heart. As a childless, married woman in my late twenties, I was asked that question—a lot. Following a friend's suggestion, we finally called Adoption Advocates, a Madison agency. Dialing their number felt a little bit like I was admitting defeat. I didn't know then that it was simply the first step in an amazing and joy-filled journey. Adoption Advocates wasn't a typical domestic adoption agency. Their focus was on international adoptions, and the organization's timeline from the start of paperwork to welcoming your baby home was short and more certain than that of other agencies. We met with a social worker to deter- Every time we thought about it, the more we knew. We would be her parents. Yes. May 2013 bravamagazine.com 47