Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/220320
The Art of Manliness Continued exist. So they did some experiments. In one experiment, researchers formed two randomly selected groups of people.They asked one group to write a narrative on how they met their significant other; they asked the other group to "George Bailey" their significant other out of their lives by writing a narrative on ways in which they might not have ended up with them. The result? JOBS for TEAMS The folks who were given the George Bailey condition — writing about the ways they might not have ended up with their romantic partner — reported more happiness with their relationship than the folks who simply wrote about how they met their partner. According to Dr. Wilson, the pleasure paradox explains the different results. The people who wrote about how they met their significant other "had undoubtedly told that story countless times, and telling it again had little impact." But for the folks who had to imagine their wives and husbands out of their lives, the exercise "made [their relationship] seem surprising and special again, and maybe a little mysterious — the very conditions that prolong the pleasure we get from the good things in life." Heartened by this study, I gave the George Bailey technique a try by thinking about the ways in which I might have never met Kate and what life would be like if I didn't have her in my life.You can really get lost down the rabbit hole imagining the various possibilities, but envisioning my life without Kate makes me all the more grateful for her. I tried the George Bailey technique on other stuff in my life and I'll be darned if it didn't make me feel great about living and a whole lot less cynical. The George Bailey Technique in Your Life If you're like me and want to reduce some of the cynicism and pessimism in your life, I challenge you to give the George Bailey Technique a try. What do you have to lose except for maybe 20 minutes? Pick one person, place, or event in your life that brings you happiness and satisfaction, and write down in your journal the various ways it might not have happened.Then imagine your life without that person/place/event and write that down, too. As you do this exercise regularly, you'll begin to feel more grateful for the blessings in your life and more hopeful and optimistic about life in general. At least it has for me. Here's to a merrier and less cynical Christmas, gentlemen.> | 22 JobsForTeams1213_manliness.indd 4 www.jobsforteams.com 11/4/13 9:33 AM