Issue link: http://read.dmtmag.com/i/710433
The Art of Manliness Continued JOBS for TEAMS | 22 www.jobsfor teams.com even just one of them, come from intact families. 4. Be intentional! Remember, good families don't just happen! Not even for folks who come from intact families. If you're serious about creating a positive fam- ily culture, you have to be intentional about it. As social scientist Scott Stanley says in his book Fighting for Your Marriage, we either "decide or glide" in our relationships and families. Gliding gets you in trouble; deciding takes you where you want to go. Following the path of least resistance is not enough – you have to be proactive! Work to put in place the family culture you've always wanted by for- mulating a family mission statement, establishing family traditions, and making shared meals a priority. 5. Distance yourself from toxic relationships. If creating a strong marriage and family is your goal, but your parents or friends love to sit around and carp about how horrible and dumb those institutions are, you might want to consider distancing yourself from those relationships. Distancing doesn't necessarily mean cutting these loved ones off completely. It just means being aware of the pos- sible negative influence these gloom n' doomers can have on your own fa- milial goals and establishing boundar- ies with them to limit that influence in your life. 6. Surround yourself with posi- tive examples. Don't just limit the time you spend around negative folks – proactively seek out the company of those who have strong and happy marriages and families. Watch what they do in their homes and emulate their best practices. Share what you're strug- gling with and don't be afraid to ask for advice when you feel like you need it. 7. Seek professional help when necessary. The research indicates that mar- riage partners from broken families can increase their chances of staying together by getting professional mar- riage counseling. It's more helpful for couples with bigger relationship problems, not so much for couples that are doing okay, but who want to do better. If you think it would help, don't be afraid to at least give counseling a try. 8. Hold fast to your goal by regularly reading things geared towards helping you become a better husband and father. It's easy to have good goals – harder to keep them. We get busy and stressed and lose track of the direction we want to go and the men we want to become. We must regularly remind ourselves of these things by reading as much as we can on becoming better husbands and fathers and creating a positive family culture. We must then "hold fast" to what we have learned by frequently revisiting those books or articles. Becoming a transitional character (or a better man, period) is a never-end- ing process. We need to constantly remind ourselves of best practices so we can stay on track. >courtesy of artofmanliness.com