Overdrive Magazine | Trucking Business News & Owner Operator Info
Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/833076
Voices 10 | Overdrive | June 2017 Isn't it funny how after you get a big truck, everything else in life pretty much becomes secondary? It's like having a giant diesel-drinking baby. Your existence ceases to revolve around anything other than feeding and caring for your huge metal infant. Example: "Honey, we're going to put new floors in the truck, and if there's enough material left over, I'll cover that hole in the bathroom." Or: "After I fill up, we'll have $1.50 left over, and we can split a hot dog from the roller rack." I may exaggerate just a tiny bit. I'm thankful for our truck. It has helped George and me provide ourselves with a nice place to live and, for the first time in our married lives, new couches to put inside the place we live. Of course, about 30 seconds after I made the last payment on the new couches, the cat got fifth-wheel grease on all four paws and attempted to destroy my happiness by running into the house, straight for my new couches. We're outside, and the front door of the house is open because – you guessed it – we're trying to polish and clean the truck. The kitty, not known for his calm nature, gets spooked by something, jumps on the fifth wheel, realizes it's a giant flypaper for cats, gets freaked out and streaks off toward the house. Of course, I help the situ- ation by screaming "MY COUCH- ES!!!" and tearing off after him. There are four black sticky paw prints for every foot he covered on the once-clean hardwood floors. He's also somehow managed to hit every single throw rug along the way to the bedroom, where he wedged himself under the bed, hissing at everything in general, but most specifically my hand as it grabbed him and pulled him out. (For future reference, should any of you ever be in this situation, it is a bad idea to drag a hissing, spitting, biting cat covered in fifth-wheel grease toward your face, as eyeballs are the main target for predators when they're being dragged somewhere.) I can't really describe the next hour or so, because I was bleeding so much that I fainted twice. But suffice it to say, the cat came out of the bathroom without fifth-wheel grease on his paws and a special hatred in his heart for me, the truck and life in general. I saved the couches but lost 80 percent of my blood and most of my dignity doing so. I also think the relationship between the cat and me may have suffered a final, fatal blow. But, hey, the truck looks good, so there's that. Fur babies and truck babies Regular blue Dawn dishwashing liquid and hot water will get fifth-wheel grease off pretty much anything – even an angry cat's paws. "One day, the couches will be mine!" " Get a no-lube fifth wheel. Problem solved! " — Allan McCullough, via OverdriveOnline.com I remember Terminator saying he can't self-destruct. Guess it's time to build bridges over school crosswalks. Heaterbilt, cracking wise about whether an autonomous truck's com- puter would sacrifice the vehicle in some way to avoid hitting a pedes- trian. His comment was under a report at OverdriveOnline.com about the creeping reality of more advanced driver-assist systems in trucks that many believe are speeding toward fully self-driving capabilities. Brave new world Wendy Parker chronicles her journey on the road with her owner-operator husband, George, in the George and Wendy Show blog on OverdriveOnline.com. Scan the QR to read more from her on your phone or tablet.