Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/172920
Bloody Knuckles CHANGING LANES timely manner. Not this time. Rob picked Ol' Red up at the beginning of June for his back woods trip and as I write this in early July, the Jeep still isn't in my driveway. While I get regular phone calls promising delivery on an almost daily basis, but something always comes up to delay its return. At first, the excuses seemed reasonable. Ol' Red was really muddy from the trip and his schedule at work hadn't given him much time to wash the old Jeep. Then, he still hadn't emptied all the camping gear out. Next up was the fact that he had checked the oil and found it dirty, so he wanted to change the oil and filter as a way of saying thanks. This week my nephew tells me that he's found a pin hole in the vinyl top and wants to fix it before bringing the Jeep back. I told him the pinhole was there before he borrowed the vehicle and not to worry about it so he shot back that the headlights were also out of alignment and he'd get them aimed first. He also mentioned that he thought it might be needing a tuneup and he could get to that sometime next week... Yep, the saga goes on and meanwhile, I have a winch to re-install and a camping trip of my own coming up. I was now getting tired of all the excuses and beginning to doubt that I'd ever see Ol' Red again, when I had what can only be described as a master stroke of brilliance. I would no longer bug Rob about 34 bloody knuckles 0913 cl.indd 2 returning the Jeep. Nope, instead I would use the ultimate weapon at my disposal – a last resort response. I really hated to do it, but I was running out of options, so I picked up the phone and called my sister and his mother. She promised me that she wouldn't nag him about returning my Jeep but that she would make sure he got the message. There is only one thing that can mean; she will use the ultimate weapon. She will use guilt. Now my sister is a virtually a Zen master when it comes to laying down a guilt trip. She should be, she learned the art at our mother's knee and she was an excellent student. At the risk of sounding sexist, let me state right here that lying down a good guilt trip is something only a woman can do. I think it is in their genes. One thing is sure; women never tell any man exactly how a good guilt trip is accomplished. Near as I can tell the secret lies in gently steering the conversation around to the subject at hand without the victim (any male over the age of two) being aware of what is about to come down on them. Then, when the parameters of the conversation are perfect, the mother, wife, or girlfriend pounces upon the victim with just the right words to activate the guilt receptors in the brain. Here's how it all went down: At the invitation of his mother, Rob and his wife, Cheryl, were invited over for dinner, with the promise of Rob's September 2013 // WWW.CHANGINGLANESDIGITAL.COM 8/6/13 3:08 PM