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64 • JANUARY 2014 • WORLD FENCE NEWS A list of construction industry "daffynitions" BY STEVE SAUCERMAN The following list of tongue-incheek "daffynitions" from veteran estimator Steve Saucerman drew the wrath of several readers when we first published it. So of course, here it is again. A/E: Architect / Engineer A/E/EYOKFLTSWADD: Architect / Engineer / Eighteen-Year-OldKid-From-Local-Tech-School-Who-A ctually-Does-Drawing. Addenda: Written changes to bidding documents occurring once architectural plans and specifications hit street and it becomes crystal clear that Be Sure To Visit Us At BOOTH NO. 709! project entitled "Springville Nuclear Power Plant: Reactor #3 Renovation" is really recycled "Chucky Cheese: New Fun-a-Rama Maze" plan with title-block changes. Architect: Design professional and (often) owner-representative for the building industry. Gets money up front, denies any and all responsibility from there on out, and charges for revision of own mistakes. When cornered will often feign knowledge of the English language. Hey, they are no idiots, these architects! Architect's Project Budget: Greatest amount of money owner is willing to pay for project and for architect to get contract. No relation to actual cost of project. Bid Letting (open): Gathering held upon completion of bid period wherein all competitors' blind proposals are opened and read aloud with the (virtually always) lowest bid receiving contract. This is akin to awarding delicatel procedure to repair elusive brain aneurysm to Yosemite Sam. Bid Letting (closed): Bid award procedure wherein the project owner secretly chooses a contractor for his project. He then holds open bid process anyway to 1) appear fair, 2) make sure contractor he's selected isn't screwing him; and to 3) waste valuable time and resources of other (losing) bidding contractors. Busy owner then sets off for 3 p.m. meeting on business ethics. They're serving those little cocktail weenies in barbecue sauce he likes so much. Boo-Hah-Hah-Hah!!: Gleeful sound emitted by owner as you sign his contract. Boo-Hah-Hah-Hah (snort!!): Gleeful sound emitted by owner as you sign his contract with liquidated damages included. Change Order (owner): "I forgot this and I'd like you to do it for free." Change Order (contractor): "Yeah right…" *See "Cha-ching!!" Closeout: Moment in time everything catches up to contractor. Contract Retainage: Carefully calculated "withholding" of money from contractor; generally a percentage of entire contract amount. Used to cover cost to force contractor into fixing screw-ups by A/E firm. Construction Foreman: Person in charge of construction operations in the field. Often seen driving field workers over edge of cliff for consumption later. Notably disturbed and disheveled, foreman may resemble continued on page 66