Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/576085
74 • OCTOBER 2015 • WORLD FENCE NEWS In loving memory of Jim Hart, professional fencer, storyteller, and world class humorist, World Fence News will occasionally reprint one of the many articles that he contributed to the publication over the years. Sad- ly, Jim passed away some time ago in Florida, where he lived. This column first appeared in the August 1985 edi- tion of World Fence News. • • • Had us one heck of an unusual week that just passed. Found a new breed of customer – a "repeater" with an oak limb problem. He has oaks better than 100-years old that he's keeping as "historic land- marks." The trouble is the trees are getting brittle with age and have de- veloped a bad habit of dropping huge limbs with bombardier-accuracy onto his gates and fence. He has four gates and we have replaced 'em all several times in the past. He called and said to bring a gate and top rail, so I knew what had hap- pened. We put the gate in, replaced eight feet of top rail and gave him the bill. "Jim, you're a specialist, aren't you?" he said. "Sort of," I replied. "Well, dammit, charge more for your services!" The "smart end" of the tape doesn't always have the high numbers BY JIM HART, WFN CONTRIBUTING EDITOR EMERITUS "OK, let's triple the amount." I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. "Let's not get carried away," he said, and wrote me a check for double the amount. "I'll probably need you again come next high wind. Thanks for coming out right away. I don't want Barney II to get run over." Barney II is a beagle hound, by the way, not one of his kids. The next customer was an ex-wrestler turned fishing tackle man- ufacturer and outdoor-magazine writ- er. He also always says, "You did a terrific job. You ought to charge more for your work." And adds a few pesos on top of the bill. Holy cow, we are on a roll here. A few more customers like this and I can get a paid vacation this year – just like the crew does! Next, we hired onto a company that installs anything, anywhere for a price. They wanted us as their "fence people." Why not? I figured we were in- stalling for other fence companies, why not these guys? "Yer on!" we said. The first job we went to go mea- sure for 'em was a recreational vehicle sales lot. I guess we sort of embar- rassed the owner; we had fenced for him before. He apologized for not calling us. "No sweat," I said. "This new out- fit pays good and I ain't got the inven- tory and ordering to worry about. We are both ahead of the game." He wanted 318 feet of five-foot with two 20-foot roll gates; two three by five-foot sign holes dug; and a gul- ly at one end of the lot plugged up. Sounds like a simple job, right? Hah! We dug the Monster Holes – the three by fives – first. We punched through four inches of asphalt into about a foot of brick-hard clay which was on top of another two-inch layer of asphalt, which was sitting on about two feet of shell and rock, which was resting on an unbelievable third layer of asphalt about three to four inches thick. The third layer dated back to 1942. I found some newspaper wadded up in a big glass bottle lying on top of the third layer – still readable. The holes were finished just in time for the drought to break. We got a four-inch drownpour that washed ev- ery bit of the stuff we had just dug out back into the holes. And all these years I thought washing the car brought rain. You want a real "rain-breaker," dig some three by five holes. Next, we couldn't get a permit for the fence. The lot was "border line ter- ritory" between the city and the coun- ty and no one knew whose jurisdiction it was. Neither city nor county wanted to issue a permit. However, the county lost the coin toss and grudgingly took the money. Can you beat that? Two bureaucracies that wouldn't take a permit fee? I was afraid I'd have to go to the state supreme court for a ruling. Then, we found we couldn't put the fence where originally planned – telephone lines all over the place. Moving the string out toward the highway, we found underground elec- tric power lines. Buried cable signs were about three feet from these lines, THE SKY'S THE LIMIT Introducing the ECGO-GKP, the latest cell phone entry system from ECGOI Your customers will love its user friendly features: ECGO-GKP • Programs 1,200 call in users • Holds 400 pin codes • Change codes via text message • Sends report of who comes in and out via text message to gate owner • LED lights on or off controlled via text message • Fast and easy programming from anywhere • Weatherproof stainless steel • For use with all gate automation systems 704.768.2230 • www.myECGO.com Interested in becoming an ECGO distributor… Please call us! Get your FREE ECGO App at the App Store! Code: ECGO The ECGO-GKP and the original ECGO-G have many more features that you can check out on the myECGO.com web site