Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/332591
WORLD FENCE NEWS • JULY 2014 • 57 In memory of Jim Hart, fencer, storyteller, and world class humorist, we will occasionally reprint one of the many articles that he contributed to World Fence News over the years. This column first appeared in the August 1992 edition of World Fence News. Sadly, Jim passed away a number of years ago in Florida, where he lived. • • • I got this unusual request from a World Fence News subscriber who wanted me to write an article on the subject of "wind." Now, I think I know what he re- ally meant. I think he actually wanted Herb Borner to write an article about wind load on fences. Well, he got me instead. And by Gosh, he's going to get an article on wind! How about some poetry about wind? "The wind speaks a language I twain I would understand, speaks sometimes gentle, sometimes quite strong…" I think some guy named Langford wrote that. Anyhow, we have had some wind around here every afternoon. We bat- ten down the hatches and hope for the best – the best being that our huge oak tree doesn't fall on the place. The trunk is about eight feet around, and stands about 80 feet high. It's got a branch spread about 100 feet or so. It would take out half the neighborhood if it went down! Hey, here's another wind refer- ence: "It's an ill wind that blows no good!" We are snowed under with insur- ance estimates. We just finished up one community that was hit by a tor- nado. Everyone's fences got blown down. We give the bums a price of $7 a foot to take down and replace dam- aged fence. We'll probably never hear from 'em again. I'm probably the only fool still around who does free insur- ance estimates. Talk about an ill wind! Don't do me any good! Well, that ain't exactly true. We also estimate replacing steel storage sheds that blew down. We assemble the new ones for a fee. Anyhow, while I'm on the subject of wind and insurance, did you ever hear of the "horse latitudes?" There was no wind for long periods of time, weeks on end, nothing but flat seas, cloudless skies and blazing sun. It got the name "horse latitudes" back in the old days of the sailing ships, before steam. Sailing ships transporting horses from New England to the Indies got stranded out there. The crews tied ropes around the horses' necks and threw 'em overboard. They made them tow the ships as they swam away. That little bit of info came from a totally unreliable source. I think the real true story is that the horses died of thirst and heat, and the crew threw them overboard as they died. The crews did the pulling of the ships in small boats. Literally "rowing for a wind." How the heck can you write an in- surance claim on a cargo of horses who died because of a "lack of wind?" My suggestion: Stick to fence, guys! You've all heard the saying, "Whistle up a wind?" Why didn't the "horse latituders" whistle up a wind instead of rowing for one? They probably didn't have enough spit to wet their lips to whistle. Anyway, no one whistles on ships, except recruits and bosuns, as the say- ing in naval circles goes. Someone way back in time, float- ing on a log, musta whistled and brought on a hurri- cane or something. So the superstition was born that you don't whistle on ships. It just ain't done! If you are ever tempted to whistle on a ship, you better know how long you can tread water. You also don't bring a black suit- case on board, or mention alligators. I once had a new "header" come to work on my shrimp boat who whis- tled, had a black suitcase and went around muttering about alligators. He said he wasn't the least bit supersti- tious about it. I wasn't either, until we got caught in a Nor'easter. The 30-foot high waves snapped the mast at its base, the outriggers folded down on the side of the boat, and a steel cable got caught in the propeller. It took me 32 hours to get to Key West harbor. We had to be towed down the channel by a guy with a big outboard motor on a large skiff. And to top it off, the rudder fell off the hinges when pulleys on the steering quadrant pulled outta the deck. "Windy" story follows request of reader BY JIM HART, WFN CONTRIBUTING EDITOR EMERITUS