Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/40026
58 • SEPTEMBER 2011 • WORLD FENCE NEWS Custom Vertical Lift Gate Systems from RISING STAR, INC. Check out www.rsigate.com! Expect The Best! Can be run electrically or by solar power! Beautifully constructed with custom designs available! Easy to install and we can ship anywhere in the U.S. (including AK & HI) as well as Canada! Rising Star Inc. Call or e-mail us for your free quote today. 800-704-2837 nelsbloom@msn.com What tools really do Drill press: A tall upright ma- chine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, dent- ing the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. Wire wheel: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them under the work- bench with the speed of light. Also re- moves fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh sh--!" Skil saw: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short. Pliers: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. Belt sander: An electric sanding tool used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. Hacksaw: One of a family of cut- ting tools built on the Ouija board prin- ciple. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. Vise grips: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. Oxyacetylene torch: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race. Table saw: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall in- tegrity. Band saw: A large stationary power saw primarily used to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. Two-ton engine hoist: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to discon- nect. At Western Tube & Conduit customer satisfaction and quality are the first order of business. Our Fencepost and Fencerail production is ISO-9001:2008 certified - and our products are manufactured to meet all the applicable state, federal, industrial and regulatory specifications and requirements. While we regularly stock standardized products and sizes, we are happy to provide custom dimensions as well. All our Fence products are galvanized with high purity zinc. We use high frequency welding (ERW) to turn the highest quality strip steel into tubing, and then a continuous hot-galvanizing process to zinc-coat the products smoothly and evenly. A zinc-rich interior organic coating, a chromate conversion coating, and a clear exterior organic coating provide the complete finish package that gives them superior protection against the elements and long life as a result. Gal-Z serves customers looking for shaped Fence tubing as well as corrosion-protected mechanical tubing. It can be purchased in squares and in rectangles, and it provides excellent environmental durability while also fulfilling the need for strength and weldability. Phillips screwdriver: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper- and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. Straight screwdriver: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms. Pry bar: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part. Hose cutter: A tool used to make hoses too short. Hammer: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer now is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit. Utility knife: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, re- fund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. – Thanks to WFN friend Roger Smith