Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/155946
46 • SEPTEMBER 2013 • WORLD FENCE NEWS I hate September! Fall brings cash flow crunch for company THE SKY'S THE LIMIT BY JIM HART, WFN CONTRIBUTING EDITOR IN MEMORIAM ECGO-G Cell Phone Entry System New Model FEATURES: • Fits standard gooseneck stands • Larger enclosure • Same great programming • High-gain cell integrated antenna • No cell contract needed • Weatherproof stainless steel • Rings up to 3 administrators in sequence • Program up to 100 users to access the gate • Works with mobile and land lines • Answer visitors call no matter where you are • Gate is able to be latched/unlatched via cell phone OUR VISIT EBSITE W NEW om O.c yECG m Get This and Many Other Innovative Products from East Coast Gate Operators, Inc. • For use with all gate automation systems • No trenching for phone lines • 12/24 Volts AC/DC - 1.5 amp power supply • Easy remote programming via cell phone or computer 704.768.2230 Interested in becoming an ECGO distributor... Please call us! SUPPLIERS, INSERT YOUR PRODUCT LITERATURE DIRECTLY INTO WORLD FENCE NEWS & THE FENCER'S ALMANAC! SAVE TIME AND MONEY! Product literature can be inserted to specific geographical regions for targeted marketing campaigns! E-mail editor@worldfencenews.com for details! SECURE GATE SYSTEMS, INC. In remembrance of long-time World Fence News contributing editor Jim Hart, we will occasionally reprint articles from past issues. Here is one of his classics from 1991. Sadly, Jim passed away a few years ago, but his unique fence humor lives on. • • • I hate September! That's when all the kids go back to school, which means they need new clothes, which means their parents ain't got any money left to spend on fence! There ain't even any money around to spend on car lot fences that were vandalized during summer vacation! Naturally, my licenses and insurance come due in September, creating a cash flow problem – flowing out, not in! Well, this last September was no different. But at least I was able to salvage mere defeat out of monumental catastrophe. There was one job that came our way: 784' of 72", 74' of 48", one 20' roll gate, and one 72" x 20' DD. A former customer's third cousin was in Mexico, and someone was stealing his fighting cocks from his place here in the U.S. He calls for an estimate, and sends the money. It arrives just about the time I discover I underestimated the price by $300. I call Mexico, and when I mention the $300 mistake, he suddenly doesn't understand a word of English. Original Manufacturer of Preassembled High Security Emergency Egress Gates Opens Every Time with Patented Reliability Toll Free 866-725-6995 • www.securegatesystems.net Since the call is costing me $30 a minute, I say, "OK, OK, I'll do it for the price I quoted." Amazingly, he understands the English language again! Oh well, that's par for the course. I hate September! I make arrangements with another cousin of his to clear me a right-ofway through the weeds, some of which are as big around as the trees. I say, "It'll cost your cousin $100 if I do it, so he says for you to do it." The cousin says he'll do it, but he doesn't! I hate September! That's when all the kids go back to school, which means they need new clothes, which means their parents ain't got any money left to spend on fence! There ain't even any money around to spend on car lot fences that were vandalized during summer vacation! He claims some kids (his, I suspect) took down the string I put up on the poles to define the right-of-way. He didn't know where to mow, so he spent the time drinking beer with his other cousins instead! My poles, I discover, had migrated into a chicken coop at another cousin's house, where they are now serving as roosts. I let it slide. It's September, remember? So I toted out our "commercial duty" land clearer, and laid waste to the right-of-way weeds, only to discover there are thousands of concrete bases the size of 50-gallon drums with metal hogwire poles stuck in 'em in a ditch that is directly under the string. There are also about a dozen 5foot-high palm trees inside the line. And did I mention the rotten chicken eggs that were scattered every two steps along the fenceline? They go off like shotgun shells when you step on 'em. And smell! Boy howdy! Now if someone asked me to describe Hell to 'em, I'd pull out a snapshot of this place and break a rotten egg under their nose. I'd be close, I bet! Two days are wasted clearing and getting water. (The cousins who live on each side of the jobsite take off for Mexico and shut off the electricity. Therefore, no water.) I go home the second day to get a water container, and blow out a tire in the driveway. continued on page 66