Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/63069
54 • MAY 2012 • WORLD FENCE NEWS National Metal Industries WE'RE NOT JUST "SLATS!" TOP CAP CHAIN LINK FITTINGS COLOR SLEEVE Anybody got a good ark for sale? 2 Neil Court, Oceanside, NY 11572 • (516) 594-0364 • Fax (516) 594-0377 Days and days of rain put fencer in a soggy mood BY JIM HART, WFN CONTRIBUTING EDITOR EMERITUS In memory of Jim Hart, fencer, PVC FITTINGS storyteller, and world class humorist, we will occasionally reprint one of the many articles that he contributed to World Fence News over the years. Here is one that was originally pub- lished November 1991. Jim passed away in Florida, where he lived, a number of years ago. • • • BOLLARD COVERS TOOLS PRIVACY SCREEN WWW.NMIFENCE.COM Recently, due to foul weather, I've had a lot of time to just sit around and think. Our yard took 10 inches of rain in one day, and our trucks have sunk up THE VIKING OPERATORS YOU NEED, WHEN YOU NEED THEM. GATEKEEPERS, INC Gatekeepers is your wholesale distributor of gate operators and access control systems. We meet all your needs with our fast shipping, well trained staff, systems integrator capabilities, and more. We are centrally located near Chattanooga TN, and can ship to all of the east coast in 2 days by UPS or freight lines. Contact us today to find out what we can do for you! www.gatekeepers.net 1-800-378-4283 sales@gatekeepers.net to their axles in the driveway. The two wreckers we hired to get 'em out are also sunk, along with the 20/40 John Deere tractor we borrowed to pull them out! I won't mention the supply truck that is up to its hood in mud way out back. We don't even want to think of that one. It may go away by itself, since it's sinking about an inch a day. The zoning board's roving "en- forcer" car, which came out to red tag us for running an unlicensed used car lot, went under yesterday. I told 'em, "All the vehicles were on a rescue operation." The zoning board believes me, and decides to drop the charges! We also got a medium size dragline about to tumble into the pond it dug. It's under a double threat – the banks of the pond are slowly seeping away, while at the same time the ma- chine is slowly sinking into the muddy ground it sits on. It don't look like we are going to be able to move it, either, since the walking gear is broke down. And you guys thought you all had troubles! I'll trade ya! My insurance company may have to pick up a big tab on this one. Good! They were about to cancel me, any- way. Their computer said I was due for an accident, since I hadn't had a claim for 12 years. That made me a bad risk. In light of what's going on now, come to think of it, the computer was right! How about that? Strange to say, we who are sup- posedly not in the flood plain are drowning, while people two miles down the road in bay heads and swamplands are dry. How do you fig- ure that one? If we get a few more sinking vehi- cles stuck in here, we may become the Florida version of the La Brea Tarpits in California. Can you see the headlines in the year 3001: "1990 tow truck found by scavengers hunting for ancient chain link artifacts." The story will say the scavengers were poking around on the site of a suspected "prehistoric" chain link fence yard in Florida. The scientists could come up with no explanation for the phenomenon. But they plan further excavation of the site. They will probably conclude that it was some sort of religious site like Stonehenge. They will make careful continued on page 56