Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/263143
58 • MARCH 2014 • WORLD FENCE NEWS Phone: 301-334-9100 Fax: 301-334-7846 www.cpalmerdiecastinginc.com x Many items in stock - caps, finials, rings, wall mounts, column bases .. x Custom made parts x Short volume runs x In-house tool & die shop Lately, I've been thinking about goals. Not my goals, of course; I'm pretty much perfect. (It's a curse.) I have noticed, however, that you (everyone, collectively, except me) seem to need a lot of help, so it's a good thing I'm here. The goals to which I refer are those nagging, nebu- lous life objectives that latch on to your subconscious much the same way the slimy, squid-like thing attached it- self to that poor sap's face in the movie "Alien" several years ago, except set- ting goals isn't as much fun. Actually, to be fair, that bursting- out-of-the-chest-thing probably felt a little below average, so maybe it all evened out in the end. But I digress..... Goals: A scientific perspective Goals can be broken down into two basic categories: Personal and professional. Common personal goals include losing weight, stopping smok- ing, finishing that time travel machine, writing fewer love letters to Angelina Jolie, that sorta' thing. Professionally, goals are less ob- vious. They can range from short-term Reaching that elusive goal line BY STEVE SAUCERMAN and readily definable (i.e., finishing that killer proposal for Mr. Windbag by Friday) to something more "big picture" such as being present at the precise moment in time Mr. Windbag actually enters through the gates of hell — so you can hold the gate open. Details aside, it's clear that the goal-setting exercise (GSE) is vital to achieving personal and professional success. Or is it?? (Long, pregnant pause....) The problem You see, I have a problem. (Many of our sharper readers have already figured that out via the sub-head of this paragraph – "The problem.") Currently there are scads of goal- spewing pundits riding a highly-lucra- tive and exponentially ascending wave of GSE seminars sweeping across our fair nation. The problem is: I'm not cashing in on it! This, of course, is horrifying and unacceptable. I'm sure you agree. But change doesn't come easy. We have to act quickly if we're going to make things right. We have to band to- gether (like only we God-fearing Americans can do in times of crisis) and set bold, new priorities. We need to embrace the Era of Steve. (Cue dramatic thundering music.) We (meaning you) have to un- selfishly set aside our (your) petty, personal needs (i.e., food, shelter, spare cash, etc.) and put Steve first! Only then can we (I) be truly free. To start you on your way, take a mo- ment and ask the following questions: • Isn't my message – the Gospel of Steve – (thundering music plays) as vital and pivotal to the tired, down- trodden, huddled masses (that would be you) as that of all those higher paid GSE pedagogues? If you prick me, do I not bleed? (Ouch! Stop it! Ooowwww! I mean it! Quit it!) • If there's easy money out there, shouldn't I have it? • Won't my Cinemax channel be cut off if I don't cough up on my past due cable bill? You see? The logic is flawless. I think you know where to send your donations. But beyond this blindingly obvi- ous shortfall, GSE is fraught with even greater peril. In the office, the act of setting goals has become bandied about so willy-nilly that nowadays the practice holds little tangible meaning to the average Joe. Once a managerial panacea, the originally intended exercise has mu- tated into a grotesque, unrecognizable version of its former self. The act has become more impor- tant than the goal. The goal itself – no matter how vague and PolyAnna-ish – is irrelevant. The important thing is to look like you care. Throughout time, the target of all good office strategies was to dazzle the next higher level of administration. Your boss knows this. Veiled in the ul- timate managerial smokescreen, GSE provides your immediate supervisor with something he can pull out of his (mmmmmm ... let's see .... I'm search- ing for a word here and I can't use my first choice ... how about "hat") when he has nothing better. But maybe I'm being harsh. Per- haps there's more to it. Maybe there's continued on page 60 The Williams Lowbuck ® Notcher features patented upper and lower ram supports and heat-treated tool steel cutters for long life and smooth action. Schedule 40 Notcher Now includes individual male cutters for each size . . . 1 3 ⁄8, 1 5 ⁄8, 1 7 ⁄8 Also Available Size 2 3 ⁄ 8 Cutter Made In The USA! Lowbuck Notcher with 1 3 ⁄8, 1 5 ⁄8, & 1 7 ⁄8 inches....................... $335.00 Cutter Set for 2-2 1 ⁄2 inches (2 3 ⁄8 inches) ............................ $130.00 Notch, 1 3 ⁄ 8, 1 5 ⁄ 8, 1 7 ⁄ 8 pipe or tubing up to and including Schedule 40 with one machine. The Williams Lowbuck Notcher features patented upper and lower ram supports and heat-treated tool steel cutters for long life and smooth action. This improved machine has been in production in California, USA for over 30 years, with thousands of satisfied customers. For information on the full line of Williams Lowbuck metalworking tools including sheetmetal brakes, rolls, bead rollers, shrinkers and stretchers, tubing benders, flamecutters, and more, write or call for a free fully-illustrated catalog to: WILLIAMS LOWBUCK TOOLS 4175 W. California Ave. – Norco, CA 92860 ALL WILLIAMS LOWBUCK TOOLS ARE 100% SATISFACTION GUARANTEED We ship U.P.S. daily. Call in your order for immediate delivery. PHONE (951) 735-7848 FAX (951) 735-1210 www.lowbucktools.com VISA MC The Original! LOWBUCK PIPE NOTCHER Don't Accept Cheap Imitations That Bind Up!