Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/384751
WORLD FENCE NEWS • OCTOBER 2014 • 75 You don't need a fence license, you need a hunting license for this wild goose chase! BY JIM HART, WFN CONTRIBUTING EDITOR EMERITUS In memory of Jim Hart, fencer, storyteller, and world class humorist, we will occasionally reprint one of the many articles that he contributed to World Fence News over the years. This column first appeared in the August 1991 edition of World Fence News. Sadly, Jim passed away a num- ber of years ago in Florida, where he lived. • • • I just had another encounter of the absurd kind with the bureaucratic powers that be! I found myself smack dab in the middle of the tracking down, apprehending and bringing to justice of a very dangerous criminal type – the infamous unlicensed, un- permitted fence contractor! Me! Well, I guess I was guilty on this job. I didn't get a clear definition of where the city lim- its were. I took the word of a 40-year resident, and he lied. All to save a $5 permit fee! I got the fence about half set when a red and white Bronco II pulls up. It's got the city's name on it – let's call it "River Town" in order to protect some clowns in city government. Out jumps two young fellers. One stays beside the Bronco, the other comes up and say, "Are you the boss? I'm a police officer!" He flashes a badge and ID. "You don't have a permit, and the city attorney has a warrant out for you! I'm a police officer. I really am a police officer!" I say, "I'll take your word for that, officer. You will excuse me if I don't faint from fright. Since when did Dol- phin County (not its real name) re- quire a permit?" He informs me I'm in the mid- dle of the city of River Town. He will issue me a ticket, court date, and the judge will decide my fate. He changes his mind on the ticket when the other guy says, "I think it's an honest mis- take. Just red tag the job." I am not under arrest, and they are surprised when they discover I am a genuine licensed contractor. I am warned not to touch anything on the job until the red tags are lifted. I have equipment all over the place, and say, "Who's going to guard all this stuff tonight, you?" "OK, load it up," he growls. The city attorney is loaded for bear, and hits me with "I've heard all the excuses" as soon as I open my mouth. They say they've been sending me letters for two years on a fence job I did on O'Hara Street (not its real name). They said I never answered 'em, which is a misdemeanor, etc. I inform 'em I never got the damn letters. What address were they send- ing them to? Highway 17-South in Wauchula, Fla. "There you go, I ain't been on Highway 17 in Wauchula for 10 years," I says. "I'm on Highway 17 in Zolfo Springs!" Well, where the hell did the let- ters go? he asks. They were never re- turned. "If my old mail box is still stand- ing, it's probably full of 'em," I say. The charges in that case are con- structing an un- permitted fence on city right-of-way. I don't remember the job, and figure maybe I gave 'em an estimate and that's all. I tell them I'll be glad to take a look at the fence, and if it's mine, I'll set it straight. He calls in the person who filed the complaint. He says to come over and he'll show us. The guy is a former city council member, blah, blah, blah. On the way over, me and the at- torney get to be friends. He tells me he used to own the whole subdivision property, and gave the city a 60 foot right-of-way for free. He then sold the land to the developer, who resold it to another developer. The job turns out to be one of mine. The property in question is a 100-foot- long strip of weeds, dead-ending in a swamp. I am informed that the swamp was zoned for an RV park years ago, but was never developed. The water management district wouldn't permit it. I let that statement ride, but I'm thinking, "So what the hell does it matter?" But instead I say, "Well, hell, no problem here. I'll take the fence down and reinstall it for free!" The city attorney dismisses the charges, and sends me over to the li- censing division to take care of the needed permit on the "fence to no- where." The licensing division says the fence has to come down. A permit must be bought. The fence has to be continued on next page I am not under arrest, and they are surprised when they discover I am a genuine licensed contractor. I am warned not to touch anything on the job until the red tags are lifted. US Patent No: 8,266,771 B2 Our PATENTED KDT Power Twist Tie saves time, and time is money! 9 ga & 6 ga conform to ASTM F626-96A Sizes for 1-5/8 pipe up to 8-5/8 Available in Galv. Class B Coating or less & Aluminized "Affixing the fence fabric to a fence post is an important and repetitive step in most fence installations. 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