Issue link: https://read.dmtmag.com/i/101356
72 ��� JANUARY 2013 ��� WORLD FENCE NEWS In memory of Jim Hart, fencer, storyteller, and world class humorist, we will occasionally reprint one of the many articles that he contributed to World Fence News over the years. Here is one that was originally published in September 1991. Jim passed away in Florida, where he lived, a number of years ago. ��� ��� ��� This week has been for the birds... with 50 cats and a dog pen thrown in for good measure. A lady, rather on the elderly side, This fence job is for the birds��� cats��� dogs��� whatever BY JIM HART, WFN CONTRIBUTING EDITOR EMERITUS wanted an estimate on a 6��� x 15��� x 6��� ���outdoor bird cage.��� It was for a couple of macaws, or parrots, or something. Anyway, she just dies when I give her the price on the 3/4��� minimesh chain link she wanted. Literally dies, that is. She just keels over, and CPR don���t bring her back. Sure, the price scared me, too, but not to death! Sheesh! The relatives told me she was like 98 years old, so I figure it was old age and not my bid that did her in. Well, the commotion led to a neighbor wanting an estimate on a ���cat cage.��� She has about 50 cats in the IT���S ON!! JACKPOT 2013 -THE BEST GSAFA TRADE SHOW EVER The Premier Fence, Deck, and Railing Show on The East Coast COMING to TRUMP TAJ MAHAL CASINO ATLANTIC CITY, N. J. JANUARY 25 - 26, 2013 Sponsored by the Garden State Chapter of the AFA Accommodating well over 100 Exhibitors from around the country Displaying a broad range of products related to fencing DOOR PRIZES will be given throughout the day to those who PRE-REGISTERED - must be present to win! MARK YOUR CALENDARS NOW FOR ANOTHER WINNING WEEKEND! WHEN: FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2013 FREE SEMINARS with $$ Cash Prizes $$ 10:00 am - VALUE SELLING FOR THE GREATEST POSSIBLE PROFITS - given by Tom Luby 10:00 am - FENCING SOFTWARE FOR THE FENCE CONTRACTOR given by Cornerstone Software and Software Design 1:30 pm - AFA BLUE PRINT READING MODULE - given by AFA Instructor 1:30 pm - COLLECTING YOUR MONEY ONCE THE JOB IS COMPLETED - given by Tom Luby 4:00 pm - GSAFA JANUARY MEETING - a brief meeting recognizing visitors from National AFA 6 - 9 pm - The now famous - JACKPOT KICK-OFF COCKTAIL PARTY - Exhibitor and Chapter Sponsored SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 2013 TRADE SHOW EXHIBITS OPEN 9:00 A.M.-4:00 P.M. WHERE: TRUMP TAJ MAHAL RESORT & CASINO, 1000 Boardwalk at Virginia Avenue, Atlantic City, N. J. COST: PRE-REGISTRATION By JANUARY 15, 2013 $15.00 per person includes: Seminars, Cocktail Party, Admission and complimentary ON-SITE REGISTRATION - $20.00 per person includes: REGISTRATION / INFORMATION AND DISCOUNTED ROOM RATE AT WWW.GSAFA.ORG MILEAGE FROM: DRIVING TIME: RAIL SERVICE: house that need an outside exercise area. I give her a bid on an 8��� x 16��� x 6��� cage with a top panel ��� 11-1/2 gauge, 1-3/8��� framework. She is a bit on the elderly side also, so I tell her, ���Don���t take offense, but could you show me a certificate of health before I give you the bid? I don���t want to take any chances... Two in a row would give me a bad rep!��� We get the job, and she says she also wants a new carport out back. Her new French sport cars cost $65,000 or so, and she don���t want to leave it out in the weather. I tell her I���ll figure it up, but I have to give a guy an estimate on a dog pen first. The guy who wants the pen hands me a beautifully drawn diagram ��� to scale ��� with specifications included. It���s a 15��� x 12��� x 6���, two-runner, with a slab. He says another fencer wanted $960 for a 15��� x 12��� hog wire job, so he was wondering what it would cost in chain link. It runs about $1,400 to build to his specs, and he says go to it. ���Do you need a draw for materials?��� he asks. Well, hell yes! I got about 15 cents in the bank and the trucks are running on fumes. This must be my lucky day! He gives me cash instead of an out-oftown check, like the previous ���bird cage��� customer did! I notice he has a carport like the one the other customer wanted, so I ask if I could look at it for design ideas. He says, ���I���d give anything to have that damn thing down. The wife never did like it!��� The support poles were a little rusty, but the roof is welded stainless steel and it���s beautiful. ���How much would you take for the roof?��� I ask. ���Get it outta here and it���s yours,��� he replies. About now, his wife comes out and says, ���So these nice folks are gonna get rid of this monstrosity for us!��� With that, she gives one support pole a hard smack with her hand. The whole darn thing shivers. The post she slapped snaps at ground level, and the chain reaction spreads to the other poles. The roof slides sideways, in slow motion, and comes off the backside poles as they bend. The roof lays down in the yard as nice as can be! I wish I had a camera to get a picture of the wife���s face. Her eyes are big as saucers. ���What did I do?��� she keeps asking. I ask if it���s still mine, and the hubby says, ���Sure, get it out of here!��� Well, it took 10 people to lift the roof onto a lowboy we borrowed. I get continued on page 74